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Syerubi's Happy Space — LiveJournal
January 2016
Sun, Jan. 10th, 2016 07:48 pm

Oh Journal, so much has changed since the last time we last saw each others' rosy cheeks. I got some jobs, did some stuff, lost some important things to me, gained some beautiful new things, and, more important than anything else, am still surviving being myself by clinging tightly to intricately crafted fantasies and ridiculous self-aggrandizing delusions. Hahahaha!!! Yep. That's about right.

Actually, shockingly, I feel pretty okay about myself. I'm getting to where I need to be.

Since I guess I'll never throw off being a TV show junkie, I've become a dedicated Hulu enthusiast. I've been watching the new show previews; Superstore is a new comedy that's gonna be on (is on now?) NBC, and it's made by some of The Office people. It's cute, even though some of the humor is pretty tired. One of the characters is in a wheelchair. which is neat (though the actor isn't actually disabled, I don't think), but I'm getting kind of tired of the typical "I'm just messing with you" disabled character line where they make another character feel weird about talking about their disability. I dunno. Either laugh at yourself or don't, disabled characters! Don't dangle anyone over an ethical cliff.

Hmmm... I've recently gotten past some medical hurdles, which has been interesting and a little terrifying! It's nothing as bad as what some people have to go through, but for me it's been challenging. I'm really thankful to my sisters, who helped me so, so much, and my dad for staying around to help for so long, and for all the emotional support I had from everyone. I stayed in the hospital for a few days and had many interesting (cough cough) experiences there, and then got transferred to Kernan rehab center in Woodlawn--a place I never thought I'd find myself--and found out what an incredible place this particular center is. The nurses really cared, the doctors were extremely nice. I went to therapy a few times a day and saw so many different kinds of people on the path to recovery. There were elderly patients, people with spinal cord and brain injuries, people with cancer, and everyone was just trying to get better. A lady down the hall had dementia and would call out for help in the middle of the night, even though she wasn't in trouble. During the day I stopped into her room. She "talked on the phone" all day--she had an old phone from the '80s that wasn't plugged in, and she would just sit and talk into the receiver. I'll never forget what a weird but kind of cool experience being at Kernan was. I'm hoping to go back and volunteer when I feel strong enough.

I'm still living with Ms. P in Catonsville. I know I need to move out kind of soon, though. It's been fine, but I think I need my own space. I'm looking forward to being more independent! I'm even thinking about buying something... life seems full of stupid optimism!

Current Mood: amused amused


Sun, Jan. 10th, 2016 07:24 pm

Take this list, remove a thing, sort it by how much you like the things, add a thing at the top, a thing in the middle, and a thing at the bottom (preserving the sortedness):

(most liked)
happy times with good company
sun coming through the window
Getting something in the mail that isn't bills
Handknit scarves
a good dessert
Steam locomotives
Action movies without superpowers
talking to someone who treats a conversation like their personal storytime
Ortho surgeons
Firefox upgrades
Getting up early
Eating paper
Ingrown nails
Successfully coding someone (YOU DON'T KNOW how hard it is to think of something better than cats)
wet bread
getting reminded over and over that I should really really upgrade to Windows 10!!! Like now!! 100 million people love it, we swear!
(most disliked)

Current Location: Catonsville
Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: what's music?


Tue, Jun. 10th, 2014 12:02 am

She wanted everything about herself to yell "unruly".


Sun, Jun. 8th, 2014 04:29 am

He picked it up, put it back down. Right. Again. He turned it over; it made a sort of hollow trembling rattle as his fingers lost the connection and it landed opposite-side up on the wooden table. Its unwieldiness certainly wasn't due to its weight, but that was the least of his concerns. His mind, which was prone to running away with itself, jabbed at the flabbier and darker corners of his self-esteem: Always had a hard time getting a grip, heh heh.

He frowned a little, purely for the benefit of no one and nothing but his own mind, and then gave up on it.


Thu, Apr. 3rd, 2014 05:38 pm

I've been living at my sister's place for the last three weeks. What was going to be a 'weekend stay' to take care of the pooch became a multi-week stint. Whether it's me allowing myself to freeze up rather than face the unknown future or a feeling of responsibility for this poor, lonely beast is anyone's guess, but I'll be moving along in the next few days. I've gotten to spend a little time with my sis, too, which has been really fun.. but also surreal and crazy?

My sis introduced me to this... friend? acquaintance? dude she keeps on the back burner just in case? that lives in the city, and it was just the most surreal night. It sounded really fun at first, and I was happy that she wanted to introduce me to her friend, but she started freaking out about driving into the city as soon as we got in the car.. and it just completely devolved into this weird bitchfest from there. We get to this beautiful apartment, and the guy's kinda handsome and charming, if not slightly high-strung, and I really enjoyed talking to him. We rode in a taxi and ate at a beautiful Mediterranean place, and he was really kind to us.. but she was just SUPER bitchy. I've never thought of her as the type of girl that puts on an act in front of guys, but.. I just can't help but feel like this night was an act put on for him.. somehow. It. was. awkward. It was painfully obvious that he's totally in love with her. When I mentioned that, she said, 'I know. I've talked to him about it before and told him that I'm not into him.' In the back of my mind, I was thinking, 'this is the kind of night that I could never dream of having.' That's not self-pity, it's just.. fact. I don't try hard enough or have that level of charisma. Going on that outing from hell was like seeing how the other half lives or something. So.. weird.. I envy the food and the lifestyle, not so sure about the people..

Cover yo' nips!Collapse )

I've kinda fallen in love with Elementary. I'm only on Season 1, but I saw that Season 3 is in the works.. I hope the show's still this awesome!

I should be heading back to Ohio in the next few weeks. More and more I feel like I just want to live a quiet life. I don't know if it's practical, but.. I don't know. :/


Mon, Mar. 17th, 2014 12:28 am

This weekend I had dinner with two friends from the ol' HCC days. It was super fun--we made way too much food and laughed about silly things. I watched a very loud and confusing negotiation/haggling session conducted in Chinese and even found some green tea Pocky! Hey, not bad. I spent way too much time loafing around and loving on Lammy. It was absolutely beautiful yesterday, so I took Lammy out to the remote field behind Shushu's old townhouse complex and let him run free! He made friends with a yellow lab named Bailey and a little girl that thought he was "so cute"! It got really grey today.. and then these big crystalline snowflakes started falling right as the sun was setting! WTF, weather? March.. you turd.

Bein' DumbCollapse )
I'm volunteering at the Y tomorrow. Shay might need someone to watch Lils, so I might get roped into that. I sneezed! Goodnight.


Fri, Mar. 7th, 2014 12:12 am

Been hittin' the Daria pretty hard recently. I'll love Daria, even when I'm old.. so, now. I like it now and always.

I've been hanging out at my parents' for the past two weeks. Shay drove Layla and I out to meet my Dad in Pittsburg. It's been quiet and peaceful.

A job that I'd actually be eligible for opened up at the Library of Congress. The motherflippin' LoC!!! I know it's a virtual impossibility, but I hafta try.

Feelings, Nothing More ThanCollapse )


Thu, Feb. 20th, 2014 01:30 am

I went to dinner tonight with a friend that I haven't seen in a few years. We talked forever and ate delicious Indian food. The waiter was SHAMELESSLY flirting with my friend, which was honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever witnessed. I love good dialogue and excessive hyperbole, and this guy had his patter down. My friend ordered her food without messing up any of the names, which I guess goes down in the wait staff's book as 'pretty remarkable'. He said something like, "Wow, you pronounced everything correctly! I was so surprised; I almost thought I was talking to a native," with this weird little smirk on his face. She said something like, "Well, I have studied foreign languages--French and Spanish~" He actually came out with something as cheesy as, "Well, I've actually been looking for a teacher~" Good god!! HAHAHAHA I wanted to laugh so loud.. Most surreal experience at an Indian restaurant EVER!! People, I tell ya!
And now, for something a little darker...Collapse )


Wed, Feb. 19th, 2014 12:27 am

My sister is constantly in the process of giving away her food. The first day I arrive at her house, she introduces me to the diet she's currently on and lays down the rules: These are the foods I can offer her and these are the foods I can't talk about. She tells me that she just bought a bunch of food and that I'll be taking some of it home when I go. When I left today, she literally handed me a full paper bag of groceries.

Fast forward to the afternoon when I had to take various forms of public transportation to get to Bowie. The paper bag made it through the first and second bus trip, but one handle ripped it was on its last legs by the time I had to walk to the train. This lady tried to help me hold it, but she ended up ripping the second handle off. Once I got off the train and made it to the final bus I was hugging the bag rather than carrying it. A kind lady started talking to me about halfway through the ride, just chatting about the long winter and the snow and how she got caught in a puddle. When we got to my stop, I realized that rearranging my stuff and getting off the bus was gonna take a little doing. I guess the lady sensed my moment of exasperation.. she literally stood up, took all the things out of the bag she was carrying, and helped me put my things into it. I just couldn't get over what was happening. She herself was having trouble getting my torn-up bag in there, so another lady Metro worker that was sitting at the front of the bus was like 'I got this' and got my bag into the bag. I also realized that a guy getting off at my stop had carried my heavy backpack off the bus and was holding it for me. The bus driver had been patiently waiting for us to finish for about a minute and a half by that point. I gave the woman a huge hug, thanked the Metro worker and the bus driver, and got off the bus. The guy handed me my backpack and I thanked him. I just.. why do people not like public transportation? If you need to regain some faith in humanity, get on the bus.


Thu, Feb. 13th, 2014 10:17 pm

Whinefest Below..Collapse )